Friday, March 8, 2019

A Letter To Myself Age 10

Do you believe that you have a purpose? What path has God taken you through to get you where you are today? This is part two of a series into my story.

Dearest 10 Year Old,

Oh, how I would love to wrap my arms around you and tell you that this is going to be a great year for you.

I want to let you know that you are going to overhear a conversation. This conversation takes place between your dad and some woman on the phone.

You will be in the kitchen preparing for bed when you hear your dad calling someone "honey" and "sweetheart". You also hear him make plans with her for the next day.

Dads Are People, Not Perfect

I wish that I could say that this is the first time that you have truly seen your dad as "not perfect", but that is not the case.

I'm sorry, but you will not sleep well that night. You play everything over in your mind and wonder if you should tell your mom what you have heard.

You Take A Deep Breath 

The next morning, as your mom is helping you with your hair, you decide that she has a right to know what you heard. You take a deep breath and you tell her.

That decision will plague you for a very long time.

Your mom confronts your dad about what you told her. He was, in fact, having an affair. Your mom doesn't handle things well at all.

After some time goes by, it appears as though things are okay. Your mom takes you and your brother shopping for the new school year. She loads up two buggies full of stuff. If you or your brother see something that you want, she let's you get it. Two buggies full!

That is her first nervous breakdown. She has to be hospitalized.

Following this event, when/if something is said as to why your mom had the nervous breakdown (the affair), your dad starts telling you that you are crazy. If you contradict him at all, on anything, he tells you that you are crazy.

Time To Let Your Let Shine

I want to tell you that your 10th year is a good one, but I can't. I do want to let you know that your decision, the one you worried over for a very long time, is for the best. I believe you did the right thing. It was time to shine some light on things that were being done in darkness.

Things will be different from this point forward. However, this provides some growing experience for you. Why do I say this? Because it is through all of this that you start clinging on to Lord.

You will struggle with depression, starting at this age, but you also see the Lord with you. He is there. He gives you strength each day. He helps you to have a deep love and compassion for your mom.

1 Peter 5:6-11 NIV 

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Let's Pray: 

Dear Father,  

Here I am, Father. I humble myself under Your mighty hand, so that You may lift me up when the time is right. Please help me to cast all of my anxieties upon You and to remember that You care about me. Father, I know that after I have suffered a little while, You will personally restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast. I am holding on to that promise. In Jesus' name, Amen.

A Letter To Myself As A Baby

My Testimony

A Letter To My Husband

Do you believe that you have a purpose?
What path has God taken you through to get you where you are today?
I challenge you to share your story.
How can I pray for you today?
If you will allow it,  I will be happy to help carry your load.

Photo credit: skitterphoto on

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