Monday, March 5, 2018

An Overflow of Deep Emotion

Have you ever found yourself at a loss? So utterly shaken? Have you ever experienced an overflow of deep emotion?

Okay, This Is Not Good

September 2014, Tim was sick. He had been experiencing some odd things for several weeks like back pains, tired all the time and sweating a lot. I remember one morning, he had gotten up, had his shower for work and then came and layed on the bed. I told him that he needed to go to the doctor.

He did go to the doctor that day. They admitted him straight to the hospital and started running tests on him. I kept thinking, "Okay this is not good." He was just supposed to see the doc, find out what was wrong, be given something and come back home.

After he had been there a while, they decided to do a laparoscopic surgery on him to see if they could figure anything out. At this point, I was already prepared to hear that he had cancer. I was clinging on to the Lord with everything I had within me. I know that I would not have made it through all of that without His help.

Yes, I received a call with the results of his laparoscopic surgery. The doctor said he had a lot of fluid built up and it looked like cancer. They were not really sure.

I remember sitting in the car at the school waiting for band practice to be over. Tim called me and put me on speaker phone. I was then told by his parents that he was being moved to Vanderbilt and that he had Burkitts Lymphoma. This form of cancer is a very rare form and it's very aggressive, but our local hospital could not treat him.

And I Cried

While Vanderbilt is only an hours drive away for us, they might as well have told me they were moving him to Egypt. You see, I do not drive a lot. Up to that point, I had been relying on his parents to take me when they went to see him. However, his mom quickly became very unpleasant to be around. She loathed the idea of having to do anything to help me, so,,, I started venturing out on my on. Now, Vandy?

Anyway, after hearing this news, over the phone, from T's parents, I broke down. I just started sobbing uncontrollably. When Jacob made it to the car, after practice, I think I told him about his dad, between the deep sobs and he just held me while I cried.

I reached out to a few acquaintances, who were great during this time. If I needed a ride downtown, someone was there to drive me.

Tim is doing good now. He was in the hospital the whole month of October (2014), but by April of 2015, he was pronounced cancer free.

As for me, I am still here. I still do not like to drive. I struggle if I have to manage things on my own, but I know the Lord is there.

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord , all the earth.  Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.  Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his ; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.  Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.


Dear Father,  thank You for being with me. Even during times of deep sadness, I know you are with me. Father, thank You for being with all of us during this time in our lives. Thank You for being my strength. I shout for joy, Lord and worship You with gladness. You brought us through that hard time and now T is cancer free. All of the praise goes to You. I enter Your gates with thankgiving and Your courts with praise. I thank You Lord and praise Your name for You are good and Your love endures forever. Thank You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Life With Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency 

Have you experienced an overflow of deep emotion?
How can I pray for you today?
If you will allow it, I will be happy to help carry your load.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor do I work in the medical field. The tips that I have listed are what have helped me in the past. I hope that they might help you as well.

Photo credit: wokandapix on


  1. Leigha, I am so blessed to have found your group and your blog. I have been dealing with chronic illness and pain for over 30 years and thought that nothing could rattle me anymore but I was wrong. Last spring I went for my screening mammogram as I do every year and went home to wait for the letter that would come in the mail saying I was great, see you next year. We were in the middle of trying to sell our place to relocate about an hour away to be nearer to family. Two days after the scan I got a call that I needed to come back for a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound as they found something and wanted to be sure. After that was an appointment with the oncologist in between house showings and meetings with our real estate agents. We finally found a house an moved but by this time I had a breast MRI, another ultrasound and a biopsy. The biopsy came back benign and I thought it was all over but they wanted another MRI and ultrasound 6 months later. I kept it in my head that if it was this hard to identify everything was okay. But the underlying feelings of "it's cancer" were always there until the doctor finally said I could go back to screening annually as nothing had grown or changed. But this put a lot of emotional strain on me and my husband. I have yet to go back for my screening test because part of me is afraid it will all happen again. Thanks for letting me share. It feels good to get it out to others who understand.

    1. Oh, honey. That sounds like a lot of stress that you had to endure. With your move, did you keep the same doctors, oncologists, mammography screening center? If they changed, then it might be good to trust a new testing center. I know that you are scared, I would be to, but try to find another testing center to see what happens. That is too much to have put you through and then, nothing. I am praying for you sweetie. Remember Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You are not alone.


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