Thursday, July 1, 2021

Surrender Your Path

Where are you on your path? Have you recently been hurt? Do you feel rejected? Do you feel like the path you are on is hard and scary?







This current path that I am trying to walk, started on January 25th of this year.




Even though I didn't choose this path





I woke up, thinking that it was just like any other day. I went about my normal routine of getting the dogs fed and taken care of, having my breakfast and devotional time with the Lord. Then T announced that he was taking a sick day so he could spend time with me.




We had been talking for some time about replacing the ceiling fan in the living room. T picked out one that is huge. I'm talking like 70 inches. I am someone that is a visual person, which means I need to see something in order to fully understand it. I thought a fan that big would be too big for our space, so we decided to go to Home Depot to look at their ceiling fans.




It was just a normal day. Well, he did ask me if I thought I would ever drive again. I told him that I didn't think so.




I have always (for as far back as I can remember) had anxiety about driving. I have never enjoyed doing it.




He then starts asking me if he gets rid of the Palisade (which was our current vehicle) and looked for something that I would feel more comfortable with, would I be willing to drive? I told him that I wasn't sure.



Even when nothing makes sense





I couldn't understand these questions or why he was wanting to get rid of the Palisade. I mean, we had only had it a short time. And as long as he was there and still willing to drive, it didn't matter to me what car we had.




Everything else went as normal, that day. Taking care of the dogs as needed, cooking and eating (although I cannot remember what I ate that day). We spent time together watching tv and then...




T disappeared into the bedroom. I felt that was odd and I felt hurt. He took off to spend time with me and then disappears without saying a word to me.




I finally shut everything down and started getting ready for bed. As I walked into our bedroom, he said, "we need to talk." My heart sank. I just knew that it was bad news.




Then he proceeds to tell me that he wants out. He feels like he needs to take a break.




I was hurt, angry, scared, numb. I mean, come on, we have done this before. I honestly did not know how to act or what to feel.




As I type this up, it has now been over 5 months since he walked out the door. Yes, I am still reeling from this. There are times that I feel like a piece of trash that has been wadded up and thrown away.



I see God's hand in my life




However, as I look back over my life, I can see how God has been there. Even through my roller coaster of a marriage. We went through a bad patch in 2000, but with God's help, love and guidance, we survived. Because of His grace, we had another 21 years together.








1. Look back over your life. Even in those bad moments that you went through, if you look hard enough, you can see the Lord's hand.

As I look back, I see a motorcycle accident . What a scary, painful time that was, however, the Lord was with us the whole time. I see T's fight with cancer. The Lord brought him through. I see my many, many health issues and scares, but the Lord is still here with me.


2. Spend time giving thanks to the Lord for all that He has done for you.


Thank You Jesus! For I am nothing without You.


3. Praise the Lord for all that He has done and all that He continues to do.


Praise You! You are wonderful, glorious, magnificent, nothing compares to You. Father, I praise You for always being with me, even when I walk the hard paths. I praise You for all that you continue to do. 




You know, since we have "been there and done that" before and the Lord brought us back, I know that anything is possible.



Luke 1:37 CEV 



Nothing is impossible for God!”




I do not know what the next step holds. I am still struggling to manage from one moment to the next. I am struggling to Follow His Path . But I know the Lord is with me.




Your turn: 




What is your path like?
Are you hurting?
Have you lost someone?
Are you struggling in your marriage?





No matter what path you are walking, remember that you are not alone. No matter how far down in your pit you may feel, you are not alone. The Lord is right there with you. He is sitting with you in the muck and the mire. He is reaching out His arms and waiting for you to come to Him with your every struggle. Will you turn to Him?




Prayer: 




Father in heaven, nothing is ever impossible for You (Luke 1:37). Here I am Lord, at the lowest point that I can reach. I am sitting in the muck and the mire of my pit of deep despair. I know that you are here with me, even in this dark place. You are reaching for me. Father, I am turning to You. I surrender. I surrender my struggles. I surrender my future. I surrender my life. I surrender my marriage. I surrender my all to You. I trust in You. Thank You for all that You do. In Jesus' name, Amen. 





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Blessings, 





Leigha 




Photo credit: photogranary of pixabay.com 

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