Are you walking along a path that you did not choose? Who are you allowing to guide your steps?
In my struggles, I either pull completely away from everyone (yes, even God) and everything. Or I try to fill my time with activity.
Because He is with me
I know that I need the Lord. I have been clinging on to Him through every step. I know that the only reason I am able to keep functioning is because He is with me.
So, I have been trying to fill my time with things that keep me busy. I have been working on a latch hook kit and I have a diamond painting kit. However, I have not stuck with those activities.
I am one that will put on Netflix or Hulu to escape from things. So now that I am struggling with sad times, I try to find something funny to watch. Just something that will make me laugh. More often than not, however, I watch shows that T and I used to watch together.
I am left wondering, though, how I am supposed to turn off all of the thoughts when they bombard me. When I am completely alone and need to focus on something, what am I called to do?
I think that is the real question, isn't it? What is my purpose now? What is it that I feel excited about?
I trust Him to guide my steps
I just feel like I am walking along a path that I did not and would not have chosen. This path hurts. I keep falling down. I keep disappointing everyone. This path is very scary, but I know it is the one that I am supposed to walk.
Even as I walk this hard, scary path, I know that there are lessons for me to learn. Each time that I fall down, there is a lesson. Yes, it hurts, but I will be a little more careful as I trust the Lord to guide my steps.
I am in the process of learning to surrender my will to the Lord's will. You know "let go and let God".
Psalm 23:3-4 NLT
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
Prayer:
Father in heaven, You are my Fortress, my Rock, my Refuge (Psalm 18:2). Thank You for always being with me. Even when my path is hard and scary, I trust that You are there. Thank You for renewing my strength and guiding me along the right paths. Father, I will not fear, even though I walk through the darkest valley, because I know that You are close beside me. Thank You for the protection and the comfort that Your rod and Your staff bring to me (Psalm 23:3-4). In Jesus' name, Amen.
Your turn:
Are you walking along a path that you did not choose?