Do you live with dread? Worrying over the possibility of the "what ifs"?
I am going to share one of those distressing times with you. Bear with me.
The What Ifs
It was 2014, Tim had just found out that he had cancer. His mother was not being pleasant. I am not too sure about her, she seems to be someone that thrives off of chaos and negativity. So, needless to say, she stirs it up wherever she goes.
Tim was in the hospital and he was counting on his parents to bring me to see him whenever they went to see him. He wasn't expecting them to do anything extra. Anyway, his mom got ugly and started lashing out at me because she had to do something for me and it created a lot of unneeded stress for me especially since I was already dealing with Tim being sick. So, I decided to start driving myself to see him.
On the mornings that I knew I would be going to see him, I would be in a sheer panic just worrying over the what ifs of everything. You know, "what if I head out and have car trouble?" Or "what if I get lost?"
I Cried; A Lot
You see, I do not drive very much. I can drive and I will, if needed, but it stresses me out. So in turn, it adds to the level of anxiety I feel.
Every time I went to visit him, I made it there and back just fine except for a headache due to the stress of it all. I spent a lot of time crying back then. Tim had cancer; I cried. He had to be away from me; I cried. I had to deal with stress head on; I cried. I felt like a burden to everyone; I cried.
Let's read over Matthew 6:25-34 ESV pray over it and hold it close.
Matthew 6:25-34 ESV
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Prayer
Dear Father, thank You for always being with me. I pray that You will help me to not be anxious for anything. Help me not to worry about what I will eat, drink or wear because I know that You are the One that is in control, Father. I know that You take care of the birds and You dress the flowers of the field and You will do so much more for me. Help me to always seek Your kingdom first and foremost and trust that You will take care of the rest. Please help me not to worry over tomorrow because tomorrow will worry for itself. Thank You for all that You have done. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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An Overflow Of Deep Emotion
Do you live with dread?
Worrying over the possibility of the "what ifs"?
How can I pray for you today?
If you will allow it, I will be happy to help carry your load.
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